You're misunderstanding. I'll tell you about my partner. When I met him, I thought he looked fine. Absolutely fine. Not great, not awful. Then I got to know him, and he became incredibly sexy. There wasn't any man I wanted to do anything else with. The sexual attraction came from getting to know him. You experience sexual interest as visual appeal; but women don't. Your wife was sexually attracted to you, but for you, not your body. Most women don't find men very sexy initially.